


Fall To Pieces

by PoeticPanda11



Category: Dream Daddy: A Dad Dating Simulator
Genre: Addiction, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Inspired, Jealousy, Love, Love Confessions, M/M, One Shot, Song Reference, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-26
Updated: 2019-11-26
Packaged: 2021-02-26 06:08:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,530
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21568924
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PoeticPanda11/pseuds/PoeticPanda11
Summary: "I don't want to fall to piecesI just want to sit and stare at youI don't want to talk about itAnd I don't want a conversationI just want to cry in front of youI don't want to talk about it'Cause I'm in love with you"Oneshot fic
Relationships: Robert Small/Dadsona
Kudos: 31





	Fall To Pieces

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [a safe place](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19772296) by [summernevercame](https://archiveofourown.org/users/summernevercame/pseuds/summernevercame). 



> I would like to credit AO3 user summernevercame for their work "a safe place". Definitely give it a read and you'll understand better why I credited them. It's very good! Reading their work made me inspired to write my own version of "a safe place".
> 
> Also, listen to the song Fall To Pieces by Avril Lavigne. It's what also inspired me to make this fic.

I fire off one last message to Craig, confirming to go jogging tomorrow in the morning. A few months after Amanda left for college; I’ve spent most of my time hanging out with the other dads, taking care of house chores, and my job to keep me busy. Luckily it’s the start of the weekend tomorrow so I get to catch up with Craig in the early morning, Damien for high tea, and listening to records with Mat until late evening.

If I’m being honest though, there’s only one person that I really truly enjoy being with: Robert Small. It’s strange really; I never thought I would become friends with someone like him. I was always told to stay away from alcoholics like him by my parents. But the more I looked deeper into him; there was more to him than that and a reason to why he is… ‘was’ the way he was.

At the end of Amanda’s congratulation party, I spent a moment with Robert under my cherry blossom tree. I was so delighted to hear that he and his daughter Val were starting to patch things up again. Not only that but he’s fighting back his urges to smoke and drink. I was so proud to see him take small victorious steps to bettering his lifestyle. You could say that him trying to better himself is what won my heart even more over him.

_“But… I have some stuff I need to work on… uh, emotionally… before I can get into anything romantic with you. You deserve better than who I am right now. I need to be on my own for a bit. Figure some things out.”_

I was a bit crushed that I couldn’t have him now; to love, to cuddle at night, to take care of, to watch over, to do what people in relationships do. But I understood what he meant. He needed support from a friend, to keep him in check. And I meant what I said to him back then; I’d be there for him as a friend. His growth is more of a priority than my selfish wants.

Since then we’ve hanged out as we usually do, just without going to the bar. We’ve played video games at my place, watch Long Haul Paranormal Ice Road Ghost Truckers, whittle at his usual getaway spot, and just had quiet moments listening to nature’s ambience. We’ve even gone out ghost hunting at night like he said.

But about three weeks ago, he said needed… space from me. He just needed to be alone for a while, not just from me but from everyone else too. The last thing he said to me was _‘you have your 6 other boyfriends to take care of you’._ I obliged to his wishes even if I was slightly hurt by what he said. What could have made him say that out of the blue? Was it something I did? I don’t recall doing anything passed being friendly to the other dads.

It was 9pm now and everyone is probably asleep but me. My thoughts have just been about Robert ever since he distanced himself, worrying about what’s going on with him. I get up from bed and look out my window. As suspected, the other neighbors are sleeping as there isn’t a single room lit up. Robert left his place early morning and hasn’t returned to his house yet, which worries me that something might have happened to him. I just hope he’s okay…

Knowing I can’t sleep, I decide to stay up a bit more. I went to my bathroom and decide to wash up a bit, just to head out to get things out of my mind. I look at myself in the mirror to see that I have dark circles forming below my eyes. Hopefully some cold water will make me look more alive.

I leave my house with my car and decide to drive out to Robert’s usual look out area. I can’t deny that it’s got the best view in Maple Bay. Maybe the ambient sounds of the night will help ease my mind. I didn’t bother putting music on, I wasn’t in the mood to groove at all. The night lights I pass by really make Maple Bay come alive at night. They always dazzle me when Robert and I have night walks. As I come to each stop light, I check to see if I can find Robert walking around at this time. Maybe I can coax him into sitting in silence at his usual lookout spot. Unfortunately, I didn’t see him in the streets at all.

I can’t deny that I’m always nervous coming up to the lookout spot ever since Robert and I heard that unholy noise. Going alone this time around isn’t any better but I kept driving anyway. I haven’t heard that noise ever since so here’s hoping whatever made that sound is somewhere else entirely.

As I close in at the top of the dirt road, I decide to park close by. Once I got out, I noticed a familiar red pickup truck parked near the top. Is he here as well? As I kept walking to the top, I notice a familiar silhouette sitting cross-legged on the grass. They must have heard me walking up here, as they turned their head to me.

It was Robert. With a cigarette in his mouth

**********

It was Sean. With a cautious look on his face.

Shit…

My eyes widen seeing him here. Why the hell is he here?! Shouldn’t he be sleeping like everyone else? Did he come looking for me? Why would he do that? I’m doing fine.

He raises his hand to his chest and sighs in relief. I quickly take the cigarette in my mouth and snuff it out and flick it into the garbage can nearby. I refuse to look at him. Especially not the way I am right now…

“Robert…” He says as he walks up to me. “I’m… so glad you’re safe.”

“… Why wouldn’t I be?” I say with a bit of irritation.

“You… had me worried. I noticed that you didn’t return back to your house yet…”

“So you’re stalking me now…”

He didn’t say anything. He stood there for a moment while I still looked out at the city. He starts walking behind me and picks up multiple bottles, clinking together. Guess he’s noticed what I was doing the whole day. Once he’s picked them up, he walks over to the recycling bin and tosses them all in, the bottles causing a ruckus as they drop to the bottom. He walks over to me now and sits next to me. I glance over at him slightly and I see him looking down at the ground… tired. Under the light post, I can see a few dark circles forming under his eyes.

“… The hell are you doing here?” I said, fully turning to him. I hate that he looked like this.

He takes a moment to respond. “Can’t sleep…” He blinks a few times. Figures.

“And you decided to show up here…”

“… To get my mind off some things.” He slowly turns to me now. “To get my mind off of you…” He says with a tired look.

My eyes widen for a sec until I regained my composure. It felt like someone stabbed me in the chest when he said that. We sat there staring at each other for a few moments. He breaks eye contact first as he looks away for a moment. He’s taken notice at the cigarette butts I’ve left. I should have picked those up sooner. He looks back at me with the same tired expression. I open my mouth to say something… but… I was too ashamed.

I was caught red handed… by the one person who’s looked out for me on this… ‘road to recovery’. Emotions swirled inside my head and chest, which made it hard to form out a sentence. I sighed in frustration shook my head.

Fuck it.

I’m not talking about this.

**********

I can see Robert’s face is slightly red, most likely drunk but sober enough to talk to me normally. It didn’t take me long to figure out what he was doing here. It looked like he was about to say something but dropped it. We stare at each other a bit more. As we stare, I try to find answers in his tired eyes too. It looks like he hasn’t been sleeping well either.

“How long are you gonna fuckin’ stare at me? I ain’t telling’ you shit, Sean.” He said slightly annoyed.

I broke eye contact. I sighed quietly as I stare at the gap between us. I don’t know what to say to him. I’m glad he’s still alive, I’m sad that he’s pushing me away, I’m mad at him for making me worry. But… I’m not disappointed at him. I don’t blame him for relapsing. I take his hand in mine.

“Please… tell me, anything. I want to know… who you are right now. I want to know how this started again. I want to know…” I shake our hands gently. “What ‘this’ means…” I can feel tears welling up and I look up at him again to delay the tears.

_Please no… I don’t want to fall to pieces. Not like this. Not here. Not in front of him._

**********

“Why do you even fuckin’ care?” I leer at him. “This isn’t any of your goddamn business.” I quickly removed my hands of his. “I told you this before Sean. There’s no way you can feel how I’m feeling!” I raised my voice at him. “You don’t know how bad I have it! You have no idea what it’s like to try so hard to resist going back to your vices!”

_I need to stop._

“What’s a good person like you doing with someone like me? You saw the bottles and cigars laying around here! You can’t fix me Sean! I’ve tried! Fuck, I’m still trying!” My face is getting hot. “That’s why I said you’re better off with one of the other guys! Hell, anyone that’s fuckin’ better than me! You’re never gonna get that better version of me, okay?!” My voice cracked. “You wanna know what ‘we’ mean?! I don’t fucking know! I’m just some sad sack of shit that you keep coming back for when you shouldn’t be!”

_Stop!_

“You wanna know everything?! Well so do I! I wanna know why I can’t be the better version for you! I wanna know what you saw in me that made you fall for me! I wanna know why I can’t get you out of my mind! I wanna know why you wanna waste your time with me at all!”

_STOP!_

“FUCK!” I yelled at the top of my lungs. My throat was dry, my face is hot, I’m breathing through my mouth. My gaze piercing his eyes as he stares back at me, mouth slightly agape. His eyes widened from my outburst and stream of tears fell from his face.

_No… please. Please don’t leave… please don’t leave me alone. I can’t do this alone…_

It didn’t take long for my own tears to run down my face. We both fell to pieces.

**********

There it was. There’s the answer I was looking for.

“Robert…” I sniffled. I take off my glasses wipe my face with my sleeves.

He takes a moment and lets out a shaky breath. “You have no idea… how much that fuckin’ hurt me… to say all of that to you…” He sniffled. “You… the one… the only one who… has ever really given a shit about me…” He shook his head and hung his head low. He quietly sobbed, regretting what he said.

It killed me seeing him like this. He’s been hurting again and didn’t want me to get caught in it. Then he must have gotten jealous that I was spending time with the other guys. I place my glasses on the ground and shuffle towards him. I get on my knees and place his head on my shoulder. I gently caressed his back, letting him cry his eyes out while I did as well. I kissed the side of his head, letting him know that it’s okay.

**********

I wrap my arms around his waist as I cried on his shoulder. I felt a kiss on my temple as he rubs my back. I’m a mess… I’m a wreck…

But…

“I’m sorry… please… don’t leave me.” I say in between sobs. “I’m… scared… without you to… get me through this.”

I cried on his shoulder for a while as he comforted me. His warmth calmed me down eventually. When was the last time I… had touched him this way? It was… the same as that day… in my house with him.

I break away from his shoulder and look up at him. He looked at me with a tear stained face, his hands find a place on my shoulders. He swallowed a lump in his throat and continued to sniffle.

“I’m sorry… I’m so sorry…” I shake my head, regretting every word I said to him. I reach up and cup his face on my hand, wiping away the tears on his face with my thumb. He nuzzles his face onto my hand and kisses my palm. “I didn’t mean what I said…” I said in a low shaky voice. I can feel another round of tears coming.

Sean smiles softly at me. “It’s okay… I understand. You don’t have to say anything anymore.” He nods to me. He leans in and kisses my forehead. Once he pulls away, I pull him back gently and kiss him on the lips. I pull him closer, as close as I could to never let him go. I… needed him. I need him more than he needs.

_I’m in love with you so fucking much._

**********

He pulls me in closer and I wrap my arms around his head again. The taste of cigarette lingered in his mouth but I didn’t care. I’ve craved his love for so long. We stayed there for a moment again, taking in each other’s feelings for each other. When was the last time we… shared an intimate moment like this. It didn’t matter. I hope he knows that I’d never leave him no matter how much he pushes me away and no matter how rough the road gets for him. I hope he knows that he’s all I want and no one else. I hope he knows that he can always count on me, rely on me, and tell me anything, through this kiss.

We pull away for a breath. As I look down on him his eyes were puffy from crying, most likely mine were the same as well. I cup his scruffy face in my hand wipe away the tear stains. I give him a small smile as I caressed his face. He gave me a small tired smile in return.

_I’m in love with you so much. You have no idea._

**Author's Note:**

> I would like to credit summernevercame again for their work "a safe place". I recommend giving it a read as it will tug at your heart strings. Also give Fall To Pieces by Avril Lavigne a listen as it is the base structure of this fic.
> 
> Yay my first Robert fic. It's been a while since I've played Robert's route so I apologize if I didn't capture his character perfectly. I hope you enjoy it though!


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